Emma Brand listened in while her flatmates judged the final show in this year’s X-Factor series.
You know it’s nearly Christmas when it’s time for the X-Factor final. On Sunday 13 December Louisa Johnson won this year’s nationwide singing talent competition, beating rap duo Reggie N Bollie on the night, after Ché Chesterman had been knocked out the evening before.
Reggie N Bollie sang ‘What Makes You Beautiful’ while Louisa’s winning song was a re-working of James Brown’s This Is A Man’s World.
In the last X-Factor show of the series, the finalists were joined by Coldplay, previous winners One Direction and reigning queen of pop, Adele.
Meanwhile, watching the television show in East London were flatmates Claire and Callie. After agreeing to ‘love Louisa’s dress’, there wasn’t much else they could agree on.
When One Direction came on:
Claire: ‘Looks like they’ve got their Nan’s carpet out, and Harry looks like he is in Cath Kidston. Niall doesn’t suit wearing a suit, especially when the rest of them aren’t properly dressed.’
Callie: ‘That was so good.’
Responding to the short film before Reggie N Bollie performed what they hoped would be their winner’s single, ‘Forever Young’:
Callie: ‘Why is it always the same one of them that speaks? Those kids were only brought on for the sympathy vote.’
Claire: ‘They know how to prolong this.’
When Louisa followed on with her version of ‘Forever Young’.
Callie: ‘They did what they always do and picked a song that suits one of them, but not the other.’
Adele was next, singing ‘Hello’:
Callie: ‘I am going to cry, but I don’t like her hair short. That’s not a very flattering dress. That’s exactly how I imagine I sound when I sing it. Anymore and she would be wailing. She is so sassy.’
Claire: ‘No, I don’t like her hair short either. She looks like a lampshade. So sassy, though. That was the highlight of the entire series.’
Finally, the moment the whole series had been leading up to…….Louisa was announced as the winner:
Callie: ‘I’m surprised. She will now disappear.’
Claire: ‘The worst thing she could have done was win. She’s 17 and just won X Factor.’
Callie: ‘So Rita won in her first year.’
Claire: ‘Reggie N Bollie did really well.’
Callie: ‘Simon wants to give Cheryl her own record label and wants Reggie N Bollie to be the first act she signs.’
Then it was time for Louisa to perform her winner’s single.
Callie: ‘I bet she’s now, like, I actually have to sing well or people will regret voting.’
Claire: ‘Imagine if she forgot her words. They only get halfway before everyone runs on. She will not sleep for the next week. I don’t think I could sleep after that.’
Callie: ‘I’m going to be fed up with hearing this by tomorrow, it’s not going to be Christmas Number One. Good on her for carrying on, though. She can’t even legally drink, I mean for fuck’s sake.’
Claire: ‘As if that’s it for another year. Where was Mason Noise? He’s on the tour but he wasn’t there. It was a bit of an anti-climax.’
And so the show came to an end, and our X-Factor judges were soon tucked up in bed. Who knows who will be crowned winner next year? But you can bet it will prompt another version of the latest Yuletide tradition: arguing over the X-Factor final.