Performing According to Type

Adiba Khatun continues her series on South Asian Wedding with an appreciation of the clichés she loves to hate.

Is there anything in this world that doesn’t have a cliché to call its own? South Asian Weddings are certainly not the exception. Here are my top five, in ascending order of how silly they can be.
Number Five Smearing Cake on the Groom’s Face
Whipped Cream
Although I don’t have an image of this happening, the picture provided is a pretty accurate representation. Playfully smearing cake and cream on the Grooms face, usually as part of mehndi (the day before the wedding) is something that the families like to do to have a little fun. It originated in a Bengali-Hindu tradition called Gaye Holud, but has since become a little less than fresh (cream).

Number Four: Limousines
Back home in Asia hiring a stretch limousine inevitably means squashing in for a claustrophobic, sickness-inducing ride. No matter how big the car, the number of people meant to get into it is always larger. Surely it’s about time this popular move became considerably less so. Save us from the limo!

Number Three: The Gate
Always ready to lay it on a bit thick, Asians enjoy a bit of banter at the entrance to the wedding hall, especially a mock (verbal) battle about whether the groom is allowed in. Answer: only at a price. Unfortunately every bit of this performance comes from a script of hackneyed phrases. A

Number Two: Matching Clothes
Everyone Wearing the Same 2
A common trend a few years ago was to have the immediate families of the bride and groom wearing matching clothes. Not just colours, but the exact same dresses. A show of unity might once have been a nice idea but it has been so overdone it’s just become a cliché

Number One: Cheesy Wedding Poses
Poses 3
My goodness. When I say cheesy, I mean you can almost smell the cheddar.
Poses 2
Asian wedding cameramen are notorious for making the poor bride pose in these strange and awkward poses that are just so… terrible. It really can’t be said any other way.

I’m sure weddings of every kind have their own sort of naffness. To my way of thinking, these are the worst sorts of the South Asian variety; but at the same time they are also quite endearing.

Bride - W