Je Suis Freedom AND Compassion

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Parisian by adoption, Helena Hinas crossed the Channel two years ago and now lives in Lewisham. A couple of months after the Charlie Hebdo shootings in Paris, she finds she has also changed her position on the issue of free speech.

French people are jokers, and I am one of them.

We generally laugh about everything: disability, social class, ethnicity – of course, religion, as well. No taboos. We fought for the right to laugh, the right to express ourselves, which means it is our duty to celebrate those rights everyday.

This is one of the main differences between France and the UK. You need to think about what you are going to say, not to offend anyone – you risk being called a racist at any time.

On 7 January, just like every day, I went to work in Regent Street. I have been living in London for about two years now.

Just like every other day, I received news on my phone from a Paris newspaper, Le Monde.

There was an alert about a shooting, but I wasn’t reading carefully – I did not get the gravity of the situation at all.

Just like when it starts raining little by little ending up in pouring rain, I started to be flooded with texts from my parents, my cousins (we don’t even keep in touch, do we?), my friends. Social media channels were overflowing with messages of fear: Charlie Hebdo had been attacked.

It always feels more real when you actually know about the ones being killed, isn’t that so? And Charlie Hebdo were famous – I mean, at least you knew they existed.

I remember a feeling of dread running through my body: is it the end of the world, of our world, the free world as we have known it? The Kouachi brothers spread terror in every French heart, even the ones abroad. Until it was over, it felt like our nation was all together as one, waiting for this dark episode to be over.

My first reaction was, of course, simply to condemn this attack. I mean, since when can you kill people for a drawing, whatever it represents?!

I felt for my nation, I felt for the people killed for their ideas, I was in pain.

At this point you do not have a million choices: you can defend freedom of speech at all costs. Or you can be opposed to it.

But as the weeks passed, after thinking a bit further I found myself somewhere in between.

Let’s be clear: I am very grateful to have those rights – to be free, especially as a woman; to think, and express those thoughts.

Terrorists are terrorists. They felt offended about caricatures, they killed because of it. It is not acceptable.

But if there is one thing I hate, it is hypocrisy.

Those representations of the Prophet did not offend only terrorists, but also Muslim people – the ones who spread love, the ones who know about their religion and love their God. What about them? Are we allowed to offend them for the sake of freedom of speech?

The answer is yes, of course. But even if we should have that right, it does not follow that we should always exercise it.

So what about the French comic Dieudonné, who was banned by local officials, for his so called anti-Semitic performances? Can we condemn one discrimination and laugh off another one?

To be honest, I don’t find Dieudonné particularly funny. But I cannot understand these double standards.

So I cannot say ‘Je suis Charlie’ without feeling insincere, yet I cannot say that I am not without feeling like a rebel teenager.

There is no black and white – it’s not that simple. My position is one of compassion. The real freedom is to have the choice of expressing our minds, but it doesn’t mean we HAVE to. If we know we are hurting people, we can chose NOT to.

And that doesn’t mean we are violating all we fought for: it means we care.

Helena Hinas was speaking to Mel Zumrutel.

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