Online dating provokes different opinions from different people. Some are all for it, while others claim it’s sad, desperate and never works; or they want to meet a person “naturally and organically”. While all opinions are valid opinions, seeing as online dating is now an estimated $2 billion industry, clearly it’s being used by a large section of the population, and, like it or not, it’s not going away.
One argument that comes up time and time again is that online dating platforms such as Tinder and Grinder, are used for today’s hook-up culture; that these platforms are full of men (and women) only there for one thing and one thing only; and that these apps, based purely on looks, are making young people more vain and sex-obsessed, instead of wanting to get to know a person’s personality.
To all that I say: rubbish. Hook-up culture is nothing new. For decades young people have being going out, getting off with each other and moving on – fast. Granted, the apps make it a lot easier: you are allowed to consider your options in the comfort of your own home rather than having to go out and search for someone. But I hardly see this as a bad thing; laziness perhaps, but certainly not morally bankrupt. And it certainly can’t be argued that if a man approached a woman on a night out, it was always her sparkling personality that drew him to her. As if looks never had a look-in before! Perhaps the new partners for the night will get to know each other’s personalities later; but at the beginning it’s always been about vanity and your personal score for snog, marry or avoid. What this means is that dating sites are absolutely no different.
As for the “natural and organic meeting” that so many people seem to crave, life is not a romantic comedy. There aren’t many couples who got started when their hands went to pick up the same cup of coffee and their eyes met (cliché alert). Most people meet in less romantic settings, but this has no influence on whether they end up as bitter divorcees or a happy couple. In any case, seeing a person online and then going to meet them for a drink is hardly the worst case scenario. Miles better than coming across each other when drunk in a club.
Perhaps it’s time to admit that I am biased. I met my boyfriend of a year now over online dating, and I have no regrets. We don’t run in the same social circles, so without online dating we would never have met. To me that’s the biggest argument for online dating: it expands your social circle for you, allowing you to meet people that you never would otherwise.
If you’re single right now, and not by choice, it suggests the people you normally meet are not quite right for you. So why not try online dating before writing it off?
You might be in for a pleasant surprise.
