With the effects of lockdown all around, I thought I’d look forward to when it ends. As previous readers of my work may know, I am quite big on self-improvement, and Mark Manson’s The subtle art of not giving a f*ck is one of the best books in that area.
The tagline for this book is “a counter intuitive way” to living a good life; it focuses less on what the typical self help advice would be, such as constantly pursuing things in order to be happy, or making more money and “fixing” your flaws. Instead this book deals in acceptance, and finding peace within your current circumstances, It prompts readers to question values and ask more thought-provoking questions, pushing us away from the clichés.
In other words, going from “how to be happy” towards “you don’t always have to be happy”; from, “what do you want in life?” to “what are you willing to suffer for?”
We are not going to be in lockdown forever (I hope), so here are 10 lessons derived from Manson’s book that you can take with you for when this is all over:
1. Be honest with yourself including all of your shortcomings
2. Acceptance of things you cannot control is key, whereas obsessively pursuing something, is an acknowledgement of what you lack – necessarily a negative experience
3. To care less about adversity, you need something that is more important to you than any adversity you may face
4. Problems don’t have to mean bad occurrences
5. Happiness comes from solving problems
6. Negative emotions are a call to action, for you to try to change your circumstances as best you can
7. Ask yourself what you are willing to suffer for, to determine what is important to you in your life
8. Think about your values and your measure of success. Note that a person may live an incredible life by societal standards, and be less content than a second person living a “conventional” life, because the first person’s barometer for success was not realistic.
9. If you care too much about what others think of you, you are really worrying about having your own insecurities reflected back to you by others
10. Good values are internally fulfilled, e.g. honesty, kindness and integrity; bad values are externally fulfilled, such as being popular having lots of money
