There was dissent in the Rising East office when the issue of sex and gender education in primary schools came up recently. Do children need to know as much as possible, as early as possible? Or is it a case of too much, too young? Why talk to them about the reality of complex sexuality at a time when these children still believe in Father Christmas? Two of our correspondents, Jasmine McRae and Fay Rose, sat down and gathered their opposing thoughts in the Open Letters published below:
Dear Primary School,
There needs to be more LGBTQ+ community and gender-focussed sex education in our schools. In recent years, the population, as a whole, has come on in leaps and bounds when it comes to gay rights, equal marriage and gender transitioning. And it is time to teach our children about it.
Early years sex education is needed to address issues like these:
“Half of primary school teachers who are aware of homophobic bullying in their schools say boys who ‘behave or act like girls’ are bullied and a third say boys who are not into sports are bullied.”
“More than one in ten say that pupils whose parents or carers are gay are bullied, and one in five say that pupils who are perceived to be lesbian, gay or bisexual are bullied.”
“Seven in ten primary school teachers hear children say phrases like ‘that’s so gay’ or ‘you’re so gay’ in school. A third of primary school teachers hear children making homophobic remarks like ‘poof’, ‘dyke’, ‘queer’ and ‘faggot’.”
- Stonewall’s 2014 research, The Teachers’ Report
Parents can still choose to withdraw their children from sex education in primary schools; but this is an option that they should NOT be given. The purpose of school is to educate the future generation. How can it be right to keep children in the dark, not only about sexual intercourse and relationships, but also about aspects of life that may affect them or their friends?
The earlier that children are brought into the discussion of gender and sexuality, the better their lives will be. The discussion should be normalised, conducted with respect and made accessible to everyone. Especially children.
Imagine a society in which children who have questioned their sexuality or gender identity don’t have to stay closeted and silent in fear of bullying or ridicule. Imagine if they felt as though they could speak up and talk it through with adults, instead of feeling alone and unrepresented by the curriculum or public sphere.
I was brought up in a liberal household. While growing up I have had gay and transgendered friends. My parents taught me about acceptance and inclusivity. Despite all this, I have never felt unduly influenced to question my gender identity. When I was little, all I wanted was a remote-control car and a chemistry set for Christmas. I had a friend, Zach, who always walked on his tiptoes and dressed up in my sister’s tutu. What’s the problem?
I think that the fear of ‘encouraging children’ may be what a lot of parents worry about. But talking about something won’t and can’t automatically ‘turn’ your child transgendered or gay or genderqueer or non-binary. It is something that either exists in a person, or it doesn’t. And either way, it doesn’t matter.
It is one thing to disagree with something, but it is quite another to ban the discussion altogether. I’ve set foot inside a church probably twice in my life. This hasn’t stopped me learning about religious practices, and I know a few verses of the Bible. When compared to other lessons in the curriculum, it seems crazy to want to withdraw your children from the LGBTQ+ discussion when they are taught about the Sikh, Buddhist, Islamic and Hindu faiths on a daily basis. People won’t necessarily agree, but it hasn’t, and shouldn’t, stop the discussion.
Whether people like it or not, homosexuality IS A THING. Gender Disphoria IS A THING. These things must be acknowledged, and the children of our future deserve to learn, understand and feel represented by the curriculum in our schools. While the discussion should begin at home, it merits being carried on at school. No child should feel unhappy with themselves, sit alone in class because they are ‘different’, and no child should be allowed to be ignorant towards the different kinds of people they may meet in life. The earlier they are taught, the fairer life will be for all of our children.
Yours sincerely
Jasmine McRae
Dear Primary Schools,
Please let our children be children!
Before I continue, I would like to say that I am opposed to any sort of bullying, whether that be for one’s gender, sexuality, race or religion. I believe whatever you do or don’t do in this life is a matter for personal choice.
I am however frustrated with the teaching of Sex/LGBT in our primary schools. Primary school children do not know what they want at such a young age, and the fact is they change their minds A LOT. Today its Barbie, tomorrow its trucks!
In primary schools sexuality should not be a discussion full stop! It is unnecessary and borderline perverse. Let’s ask ourselves this question. Why is the age of consent 16? The answer is simple: it’s because a person any younger than this is not mentally mature enough to make informed decisions when it comes to having sex, and most importantly, because they are still CHILDREN! And yet it’s okay to talk to 5 -10-year olds about stuff even I get confused about?! Give me a break.
Teenagers in secondary school are just about getting their head around the idea of sex, hormones and feelings, and even they tend to mock sex education and think it’s all a bit of a laugh. Why? Because they are not yet mentally mature enough!
Our children are being sexualised far too young these days and it’s beyond scary! Let our children be children. It is a period which will shape the rest of their lives: to bombard it with sex and all things LGBT is too much too soon.
I believe such matters will cause confusion in children which is not good for their psychological development.
I grew up dismembering my Barbie dolls and playing out with the boys. I hated dresses and anything frilly. And yet here I am, still a girl, who now loves a dress and some heels. Nobody ever questioned my gender/sexuality and I was left to do what I wanted without any pressure or confusion, and I turned out exactly the way god intended me to be.
This will also apply to those who are gay, and those who decide they do not fit with the gender/sex they were born into. If you are what you are, then it doesn’t need to be taught in schools. That’s what parents/carers are for.
Also I was not taught about sex in primary school. My parents taught me about boys’ and girls’ genitalia and that those areas were not to be touched by anyone at any time. That was all I needed to know.
To say I would be fuming if my son was being taught any of this in PRIMARY school would be an understatement, and I would be ‘that parent’ that’s takes him out of class.
One thing children at this young age do well, is copy! They copy their peers and others around them, so to say that this will not cause confusion is far from true. If my boy decides to put my shoes on, does that mean he is having gender dysphoria? No! It means that he is a child and he is copying what his mother is doing, which is completely normal. If my son decides that he will act as Princess Fiona for a day, and the next day he wants to be a green ogre, it doesn’t mean a thing.
I mean, where does it end? There are people out there who do not identify as human; they call themselves Otherkin and Therians, they identify themselves with unicorns, dragons, cats and dogs etc. When should we start teaching this? Or are these people’s feelings less valid?
In a nutshell, I knew what homosexuality was because my parents taught me. I also knew that it was wrong to discriminate, because my parents taught me not too. I didn’t know about sex or anything related to sex in primary school because I didn’t need to know! Let parents teach their children about these things. Why are such important topics being taken out of our hands as parents?
At my child’s first school, there many more things which should be primary – not sex education.
Yours sincerely,
Fay Rose, a Frustrated Mother!
