Valentine’s Day is fast approaching: the day devoted to ‘love’, although these days it more often feels like the day devoted to spending obscene amounts of cash in a bid to simply look as though you love your partner. So instead of talking about relationships, I want to talk about another kind of love: self-love – or rather self-pleasure.
Ebay UK reported that the sale of new sex toys shot up nearly 50% in the first week of February when compared to January. And TENGA, a Japanese brand of male masturbation aids, has revealed that 64% of Brits consider masturbation a form of ‘self-care’. So why is it still such a taboo subject?
For women especially, the topic of masturbation is usually so embarrassing that we are more likely to not discuss it at all – even though most of us do it! Having said that, TENGA’s 2019 Self-Pleasure Report showed that while 93% of UK males masturbate, only 88% of UK women do!
But becoming acquainted with your body in the most intimate ways should be completely normal. After all you are supposed to know your body better than anyone else. Learning what you like on your own can also help improve your sex life – as long as you can open up to your partner about how you like to be pleasured.
It is not uncommon for women to go years without experiencing an orgasm, even if they are having regular sex. Popular sex and relationships vlogger Hannah Witton, shared on her YouTube channel the revelation of experiencing her first orgasm aged 20 by her own hands – despite having been in a long-term relationship from the age of 17.
Masturbation can be particularly helpful during those early days of sexual experience, when you might lack sexual and body confidence. Exploring yourself and ways to give yourself pleasure can be liberating and beneficial. Working towards your first sexual experience, and the pressure to experiment that comes with that, can be a terrifying ordeal, that self-pleasure can gently ease you into.
So this Valentine’s Day grab your hand or a toy and give yourself a bit of love, from you to you.