Adiba Khatun is concerned that South Asian weddings are more about reputation than relationships.
Weddings are meant to be a cause for celebration, but these days I feel like the lustre has really dimmed.
I’m well aware of the ideology that is common among Asians in which the most important thing is ‘what other people think about you’. Perhaps there is less of this in our daily life nowadays, but it is still something I see creeping up especially in weddings.
My idea of a wedding is the celebration of two people joining to unite their lives into one; and, associated with this, a chance for old friends and family to reunite in a moment of happiness and just have a good time.
But what has the simple act of marriage come to be focused on? Money. And lots of it. All people seem to want to do nowadays is use weddings as an excuse to spend a fortune on one single day of their lives; it’s mainly about the bragging rights. Now I like my fair share extravagance – I admit it. But to spend tens upon tens of thousands of pounds on one single day, putting the actual marriage in second place to the display of financial outlay, is plain ridiculous.
Many Asians guilty of such acts would jump to denying this and claim every expense is out of pure necessity. But denial is just another word for ignorance in this instance. Now hold on. I am not saying that families should be banned from splashing out a little – it is their wedding! It’s just that people have started to spend simply for the sake of impressing others. And that is what infuriates me.
If you have the money and you still feel like you need to show it off, by all means go ahead. There won’t be anyone stopping you. However, you probably wouldn’t even think about spending £40,000 in one day if this was in a different context. So why spend that much on a wedding?
I can even understand that in Asian families there are a lot of relatives; and I mean a lot, which can add a significant amount to your budget. But the 10 fancy cars, a horse and carriage, and a valet are things I’m sure everyone can survive without.