Boris Johnson is finally making good on the promise he made in 2016, and throwing in something extra for making us wait this long! That’s £500,000 to be spent for the good of the people, to mark the UK’s exit from the EU. Though to be fair to everyone, it’s not going to be spent on the NHS. Oh no, this will be spent on something we can all enjoy, the striking of Big Ben as we finally cast off the chain of our EU oppressors.
Once we’re free of the EU, then we can turn our attention once again to the rebels in the North – when will they learn!?
Mr Johnson is nothing if not confident: ‘Our Union [you surely don’t mean the European Union] is the most successful political and economic union in history. We are a global brand and together we are safer, stronger and more prosperous.’
Well said, Prime Minister, if you keep saying it often enough you’re bound to convince yourself – eventually. A union of trade and cooperation is just the thing we need! But don’t let anyone know it’s really just about oil and whiskey!
Perhaps we can finally sort out our national borders, too. Then we’d get back all those jobs none of us is qualified for. Just think of all the doctors and nurses we won’t have any longer! If the waiting times become so unbelievably bad, we’ll have to sell everything on to the Americans. Yikes! Another brilliant move from Commander Johnson.
Let’s Make Britain Great Again. Not.
