Five Ways To Keep Warm This Winter

By
Deborah Langele
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Well Clothed Baby. Photo: Wikipedia

I’m going to walk you through the strange ways in which some people choose to keep warm in winter.

  1. Layer up like Haute fashion.

Do you find it hard to choose a shirt to go with the rest of your outfit? Perhaps you’re indecisive in general. Well Balenciaga’s layered coat teaches us that you can wear all your shirts at once, under your coat. This oversized Parka is a coat that costs $9,000. But if you really want to recreate this look, don’t be discouraged! Ross from Friends, has already demonstrated it in an ancient episode of the sitcom.

For those who struggle to get out of bed in the mornings, Victor & Rolf’s Ready-to-Wear Collection means you no longer have to! That’s right, the collection was first introduced in 2005 and featured quilted coats, skirts and dresses with enormous stuffed pillows  attached at the back (where a hood would usually be). The resemblance to a duvet could not be closer. If you’ve gotten over the stares from wearing pyjamas in public…you’re already halfway there.

  1. Hot Ribena?

Forget wasting your money on Starbucks and Costa drinks, just buy a family-sized bottle of squash and use boiling water! I came across this for the first time during a primary school trip, to a camp in Wales. I was injured trying to complete the muddy assault course, so I was moved from the dormitory to an individual room with something like room service. The staff there would give me this purple hot drink, which I pretended to take. Eventually I asked what it was – it was Ribena Squash! I don’t know about you…but I had never heard of that one before. FYI I tried it in the end and it was okay…I still make it now if i’m poorly! Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it. It’s an alcohol free alternative to mulled wine. Besides i’d rather drink this purple drink, than get high on Lean (mixture of codeine syrup and spite).

  1. Use A Mermaid’s Tail!

Cosy blankets are totally in this season, and you can get the same old throws anywhere…Boring!  Handmade colorful Mermaid Throws ? Now you’re talking. You would insert yourself inside the tail in the same way as a sleeping bag. These throws are available online on Amazon.

  1. Heated clothing?

No, I don’t mean you should put your clothes in the microwave, I’m talking about the rechargeable clothing! From electric blankets to heated socks and gloves – you name it! You’ll be saving on your electric bill and kept warm for hours, until you turn it off! Of course it’s always wise to research official brands (avoid black market electrical goods) – that way you have a warranty in case something goes wrong. Also bear in mind that any heat THAT close to your body, is bound to have some negative consequences. So don’t get too carried away and overheat yourself. If saving on your electric bill is all you are hoping for, you’d be better off making a little bonfire in your backyard.

  1. Get yourself into a temporary relationship!

The winter is also well known as cuffing season. If you thought you were single in the summer, just wait until the cold hits you – now you’re SINGLE, single! Recruiting a temp companion is a smart choice- trust me. You can spend your evenings cuddled up watching Netflix in oversized clothes that don’t belong to you. Then you can use that extra money you saved on your electric bill, on a cool dinner for two in the igloos at Coppa Club. They’ll even lend you their jacket when it gets cold outside, which in this case is all the time – so you don’t even have to give it back! You might even grow to like each other…

If none of these methods appeals to you, remember you can go for a more subtle approach. Just wear a scarf like Lenny Kravitz and keep it traditional.

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